August 9^th, 2011

22 Blake St. #1

Asheville, NC 28801

Dear Mr. Osterhaus,

                My name is Kipper Schauer. I’m a 29 year old gentleman living in the beautiful mountain town of Asheville, North Carolina. I moved here two years ago from sunny San Diego, California I’m writing to extend my gratitude for your invention that helped provide me with insight into this town before I moved here.

                You see, I love Apples to Apples. I think it is one of the most creative games to ever be creative. In addition to that I’m constantly amazed by how accessible it is. It’s a rare occasion that once a game of Apples to Apples has begun that observers don’t become players themselves.

                That is of course unless you’re trying to introduce your fantastic game to a dreaded subculture of humanity.... that is, hippies. Please forgive me if you yourself are a hippy, but I have a very challenging time believing that could be the case considering how witty and fun the game you invented was. I’m sure there are smart hippies, and charming hippies, and hippies that are worth hanging out with, but the type I’m talking about are the ones too busy indulging in hallucinogens, wearing hemp clothing, and stinking up the air with the stench of patchouli.

                I’m referring to one incident in particular where a friend of mine invited me over to a board game night at an acquaintance’s home when I and my then girlfriend at the time were thinking of moving to Asheville. The prospect of indulging in a night of board games was quite enticing, as I love a good laugh and a friendly competition. We agreed and upon arriving at said acquaintances home, were alarmed to find that gathered in a circle around the floor were 8 of the crustiest hippies I’ve ever laid eyes upon. There were no games, no boards, just ponchos and acoustic guitars; definitely not my cup of tea.

                After some time was spent observing the party of crustiest write poems in the round I asserted that we should play Apples to Apples. This statement was met with blank stares. Not a one had ever even heard of it, let alone played it. I sent my friend forth to fetch the copy he left at his house. To this day, I regret not going with him. I was left in the den of stinky overly peaceful lions.

                Luckily I was treated to a 15 minute drop D acoustic jam session where some guy passionately sang about flying through the universe and finding that he and it were one. This was awkward, as I could not bring myself to emulate the other people in the room whose eyes were closed, and chins pointed to the ceiling as the swayed along to the jangling rhythm of the guitar. I chose, instead, to see if I could remember how to fold an origami crane out of a spare piece of newspaper I found laying around. (I didn’t, but it helped the time go by.)

                After what seemed like an eternity my friend finally returned with the game, and we set out quickly to explain the wonderfully easy rules and premise of the game. Let me say that I am truly grateful for just how easy Apples to Apples is to learn. It brings joy into the hearts of adults and children alike, it’s so easy to pick up, and everyone gets the hang of it so very quickly. That is, of course, unless you’re a hippy.

                It took us nearly half an hour to continually show examples and answer some of the dumbest questions I’ve ever heard until the hippy’s glazed faces finally began to solidify with what I could only hope was a basic understanding of the premise. We finally dealt out the cards and I elected to be the first picker. 

                I drew the green card, and revealed it to the players, the word: Crazy. Wheels started to turn, and gears started to click. One after another (and with a bit more handholding) the red cards came in. I don’t recall each and every one of the cards, but I do know I whittled the stack down to two cards, Anne Frank, and Adolf Hitler. What are the chances? After much vocal debate I finally decided that Hitler was a real asshole, but not as crazy as Anne Frank because who could be sane after living in a closet for all those years.

                This was met with undue distress from the hippies. How could I say such a thing? The person that threw in Hitler should have gotten the point! Why are you laughing? But still, we played on, and with each round I became more and more terrified of the prospects of moving to Asheville. Were these hippies the people that I’d have to deal with on a day to day basis around town? The words they threw in were revealing: Green Card, Terrifying: Red Card, Wheat, followed by the statement “Wheat is terrifying on your colon” and that statement was not made in jest.

                I could regale you with even more tales of strange rounds from that evening, or horrible statements that made my ears cringe and my soul die, but I feel as though I’ve clearly expressed my point. Apples to Apples isn’t merely a game, it’s a barometer for one’s peers. Through that game I quickly realized that Asheville wasn’t everything I thought it was, and I honestly contemplated backing out of my plans to move here.... However, I came to realize that through that game I had identified people that I would have no interest ever spending time with.

                From that point forward I began to drive around with a travel copy of the game in my car. At many a social engagement I would bring it out, and find the people whose company I would truly enjoy. It also helps to liven up any party or soiree and really break the ice. It has truly been a blessing in my life, and for that I thank you.

                Recently I’ve begun this project where I write a letter each day to a different person that has affected, inspired, or interested me in some way and I’m happy that today is the day I took the time to write to you. I hope that this letter has brought you joy, and that you are in fact not a hippy... because that would be pretty damn awkward after I went on such a hippy hating diatribe.

                As a part of this project I also ask my addressees to do me the honor and favor of replying to my letter, not with words or photos or gifts, but instead with a picture drawn by their own hand. You must have noticed that included with this note there was a pack of crayons, a blank sheet of paper, and a self addressed envelope.

                I hope that you wouldn’t mind taking the time to doodle something up for me. What you draw is completely your own choice. However, I do provide a couple of prompts in order to get the creative engines flowing. For you, I’d like to suggest a snail judging a pie contest at a state fair, or perhaps the great god Zeus eating a hamburger. Once again, these are only prompts, and not in fact a statement of my desires for your drawing.

With great thanks,

Kipper Schauer

  I decided to write to my friend Norina a few days ago. We’ve known each other for ages. A number of years ago she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Efforts were made, and she recovered. Over the last year it has returned, and from what I understand, with a vengeance.

  I hate to dwell on death, on losing people, but I feel like I can take a moment to celebrate the time we shared together, as brief as it was. So yeah. Here it is:

August 8^th, 2011

22 Blake St. #1

Asheville, NC 28801

Dear Norina,

                I don’t really know how to open this letter. I’ve started this project where I write a letter each day to a different person that has interested, affected, or inspired my life in some manner. So far I’ve written a number of celebrities, teachers, and family members. This will actually be the first letter that I write to someone that I consider a close friend.

                We’ve been friends for over a decade now, and for that I am grateful. I can still recall the first time that I had the chance to meet you and your brothers in the mountains of San Bernadino. I was instantly captivated by your keen intellect and gracious manner. You and I must have been what, 15? 16? It seems like ages ago now.

                You were so caring, so bright. I’ve always been impressed by how calm you are even in the most dramatic situations. You have a wonderful ability to take a step back and look at whatever is happening in a rational manner.

                Do you remember that bizarre occurrence when I was walking down a strange highway in Lake Tahoe and you just happened to drive by? The chances of such an occurrence were so miniscule. For me to be vacationing there with a friend, for us to have set out to visit a music store, for us to have grown tired due to the fact that we underestimated the distance, for you to just happen to be driving down the same stretch of road, and for you to actually pull over and verify that it was indeed me. What a serendipitous joy that was. Something that spectacular has yet to happen to me ever since, and I felt forever bonded to you by the powers of fate from that moment onward.

                You and I have never been the closest friends, our time together has always been joyous, but we’ve always returned to our own lives and family when our paths diverged. Yet, I want you to know that you have always had a very special place in my heart.

                When Jenny brought up the idea of sending you a puzzle, a collage with little notes on it, I was so enthusiastic. It sounded like such a tremendous idea. Yet, I’m sorry to admit that I procrastinated on creating a message for my piece. I’m even more embarrassed to admit that due to my hesitation I ended up losing the piece. I’m still quite mortified about it now.

                I suppose that’s why I’m writing you this. I wanted to take a moment to thank you for being a part of my life, to take the time to let you know how grateful I am that the time that we spent together were some of the happiest moments I can recall.

                You are truly a wonderful, beautiful, and strong person Ms. Norina. You’ve brought joy not only into my life, but the lives of all around you. I hope that when you look upon your memories, of all the people you have known, that you feel proud and content with the happiness you’ve brought to them.

                I wish you strength in heart, mind, and body. I wish you love and light. I wish you joy, even in the most solemn moments. You are a blessing my dear, a truly wonderful person, and gorgeous spirit.

                I fear that the universe will not align in such a manner that I’ll ever be able to express these words and thought to you in person, but it’s important to me that you know that I feel lucky to count myself as one among the thousands of people you’ve touched.

                So here’s where things get a little bit weird. As a part of this project I ask each of the people I write to draw me a picture. You should have found a pack of crayons, a blank sheet of paper, and a self addressed envelope enclosed along with this letter. If you feel up to it, it’d be wonderful if you could take a moment to draw me a picture as well, or perhaps even dictate a drawing to be completed by your lovely mother or something of the sort.

                What you draw is up to you, but perhaps you could draw a picture of us having a lovely picnic together with cupcake clouds, or perhaps you might like to draw a picture of a kitten being crowned as the king of England. These, however, are only suggestions, and I ask merely that you allow the creative whim take you!

                I have adored you, I do adore you, and I will forever adore you.

With love and honor,

Kipper Schauer

August 5^th, 2011

22 Blake St. #1

Asheville, NC 28801

Dear  Mr. Reubens,

                I hope that this letter finds you well and happy. My name is Kipper Schauer. I’m a 29 year old male living in the gorgeous (and currently humid) mountains of North Carolina. I recently embarked on a campaign to write a letter each day to someone that has inspired, interested, or affected me and my life in some manner. Truth be told I’m just coming back from a two month hiatus, and I fear that the actual act of writing a letter each day may be more suited towards someone that doesn’t maintain a schedule as busy as mine, but I digress.

                I wanted to take a moment to write to you. As a child you amused me to no end. I fondly recall my Saturday morning itinerary, planting my butt firmly in front of the television and consuming a bowl of whatever sugary sweet cereal some sort of animal told me to buy the week prior. Or at least I like to think that... I’m afraid my mother really never bought into the whole candy for breakfast ideal, and I feel as though she’d be upset if she knew that I wrote a letter claiming that she had done otherwise. But once again, I digress.

                No, the truth is that there was nothing else like your show on TV during that time. You were the “Howdy Doody” of my generation. The character you portrayed was so much larger than life, and I think that each and every one of my fellow peers and I dreamed of visiting your play-house.

                It wasn’t long after that my parents took me to see “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure”. It was incredible for a small child like me, filled with laughs, and extreme terror. It is only recently that I’ve been able to handle watching the Large Marge scene without having to cover my eyes in terror. In fact, I just re-watched your big adventure at a local bar that plays movies sometimes, and I must admit that it stands extremely tall against the test of time. So much of the humor was aimed towards adults, but catered towards youth as well. It’s truly a remarkable specimen. I commend you for your endeavor.

                It was a true shock to me when you were arrested. I’m sorry to bring this up, but the fact is that it affected me greatly. Up until that point I had no idea that Pee-Wee was only a character, and not a real person. Paul Reubens was a foreigner to me, the idea that a person could play a character I loved so much and embody them completely, but still be a man behind that was illuminating. It served to teach me a great lesson.

                I feel as though you will always hold a place near and dear to the hearts of my generation. You were our jester and our friend. I’m so proud and happy to see your return to the limelight with your Broadway show and your appearances on 30 Rock. I truly hope that both brought you great pleasure and a feeling of vindication that you deserve.

                So that’s about it for my letter. Now as I mentioned earlier this is a part of a personal project I’m taking on, and in an effort to make this communiqué more “real” I decided to ask each person I write to draw me a picture. Included with this letter you should find a pack of crayons , a blank sheet of paper, and a self addressed envelope. Please use these supplies to jot down a simple picture.

                Whatever you draw is up to you, but I do often lend a pair of suggestions. For you I’d like to maybe suggest that you draw a horde of ravenous ice cream sundaes giving a piranha its cummupits, or perhaps something like an elephant with a drinking problem. Please be sure to note that these are only suggestions.

                I thank you for the time you’ve taken to read my letter, and pray that you’ll take a few more moments to indulge me in my bizarre request.

Sunshine and lollipops,

Kipper Schauer

August 4^th, 2011

22 Blake St. #1

Asheville, NC 28801

Dear Starbucks Customer Care Specialist,

                My name is Kipper Schauer. Your company has helped me through some of the most arduous days, and fatiguing nights through my short life time, and I wanted to take a moment to thank you.

                I love the shit out of coffee. It is, as I like to put it, my jam. Whether it’s hot or it’s iced, steamed or brewed, fresh or old, there are few things that bring me more pleasure than a cup of that dark ambrosia.

                I’ve worked for Starbucks not once, but twice in my life. Thanks to this I was given the opportunity to support myself through wild times touring around the country with a band while living in a band, and being welcomed back with open arms by my fellow employees and supervisors.

                Recently I’ve begun to write letters to thank the various people that affected, inspired, and interested me throughout my life. True, Starbucks is a corporation, but the fact remains I owe it a great debt of gratitude.

                I’ve also come to realize how my creative process is quite dependent on a constant stream of caffeine flowing through my body. I took a few weeks off for no particular reason and one day took a look around and realized that I was starting to suck. Coffee returned, crisis averted, and all is right with the world.

                I feel like there are many a Starbucks hater in the world, but I do not count myself among them. You offer a consistently top notch product that is same in the market where I buy it North Carolina that it is when I buy a cup of it in a California air port. Kudos to you all on your tremendous efforts.

                Now as we come to the closing of my letter I must take a moment to ask that you, or really any member of your staff do the me the tremendous honor of drawing me a picture. That’s kind of the hitch with these letters, I send each one out with crayons and paper and ask someone to send me something back.

                What you draw is up to you, but I would very much like to see something along the lines of a marshmallow eating sushi, or a dog working on a satellite. Please keep in mind these are only suggestions, you’re welcome to draw whatever you wish.

                I thank you for your time, and look forward to my next cup of deliciousness already.

Kindly,

Kipper Schauer

  Shortly before I lost my way I decided to write Harrison Myers a letter. He and I attended high school together. We were a few grades apart, and we didn’t talk all that much, but when we did... I was a real dick to him.

  I have no excuses for why, but it wouldn’t be unfair if he reflected upon me as a bully. Shocking for those of you that know me I’m certain, but it’s the truth. I expect these next few letters to all be dripping with emotional bullshit, so I hope you’ll please forgive me while I pull all the pieces back together and get back to my snarky and hillarious ways.

  Here’s what Harrison is getting in the mail:

August 3^rd, 2011

22 Blake St. #1

Asheville, NC 28801

Dear Harrison,

                A few months back I began writing letters to people who have affected my life in some manner. I’ve written a lot of letters to celebrtities that have interested me, to family members who have molded me in to the person I am today, and I’ve even had the chance to reach out to a few of my old teachers. This letter, however, is the first one I’m writing as an apology.

                Over the past few months I’ve worked my way through an emotional maelstrom. Although I haven’t weathered the storm quite yet, I believe the shore is within sight, and that I shall soon be whole again. During this period of duress, I lost my desire to write... that burning energy to create and reach deep into my heart and extend my thoughts to others. However, I do remember that shortly before I my spirits began to wane you were the one person I had a burning passion to write. I felt compelled to tell you that I was sorry.

                This project has provided me with a chance to take a moment and reflect upon the forces and people who have molded me into the person I am today. I like to think that I’m a good person, that I’m compassionate, and pleasant. However, I haven’t always been that way, and to be more specific I never treated you in a manner that reflected those desires or sentiments.

                I hate to admit this to myself, considering I tend to think of myself in such high regard. This is not out of a spirit of narcissism; it’s just that I truly try my best to be a good person. Yet nearly a decade ago I was little more than foul and rude towards you.

                I think it’d be fair to say that I bullied you, and it troubles me to write those words, but it’s true... Sure, I may have never beat you up for your lunch money, or spread awful rumors about you, but I’m well aware that I hurt you emotionally. For this, I am truly sorry.

                I never took the time to know who you were. I made my judgments, and decided that you were someone that annoyed me. I had no reason to make this decision, and it was unfair to you that I should carry such prejudices. I talked over you, teased you, and did nothing to make you feel welcome or appreciated.

                I still cringe when I recall a particular moment that occurred during a practice for an improv competition. I was being quite negative towards you, and you turned to me and looked me directly in the eye and said “Kipper you are such an ASSHOLE”. You stormed off, and although that moment may only be a fleeting memory for you, I bear the weight of that exchange to this day.

                High School was hard for all of us. I too was teased, and wounded in those years. It just pains me to think that I was someone that made it hard for you. You didn’t deserve that.

                I’m writing you this letter in the hopes that you’ll forgive me for being so rude, and pompous towards you. I have no doubt in my mind and heart that you are a tremendous person, and I’m quite sorry that I never took the time to discover that for myself.

                Please be certain that I’m not attempting to have a “Billy Madison” moment. I’m sure you don’t have a list of “people to off”. I ask nothing of you except for forgiveness. I seek nothing but clarity. If I can look back on my past in 20 years and think to myself that at least I apologized for one of my many mistakes in life, I think I’ll be able to breathe a bit easier.

                Oh, well there is one thing. I do ask each of the people I write to draw me a picture. You should find a pack of crayons, a blank piece of paper, and a self addressed envelope included with this letter. Please do me the favor of drawing something and sending it back.

                What you draw is up to you, but I do often give a couple of suggestions. For you I’d like to offer the idea of a penguin hunting for something, or a train playing bingo. Please keep in mind these are only suggestions, just a source of creative inspiration, you are free to create.

                I thank you for the fact that you let me write this letter, and I’m grateful for the time you took to read it. I hope that this letter brings you as much peace as it has brought me, and that your day and the following weeks are a bit brighter.

Trying hard,

Kipper Schauer

  As many of you know, being that you are my friends and acquaintances, my girlfriend of more than five years recently left me. We had been going through a period of intense emotional strife, that had been preluded by a rather challenging rut, and the fall out from this experience has been rather difficult for me to deal with and adjust to.

  For a very long time I’ve held on to this belief that love conquers all, and that if you love someone enough, and devote yourself to them, you can see yourself through any set of difficulties. I want to believe that this is true, and maybe it is if it’s a love shared by two people, however the woman I loved came to feel diferently towards me.

  I want to make clear that I believe that she still loves me very much, but it’s a different type of love than the one I carried for her. A relationship must be an equal amount of give and take, and I just gave and gave and gave, and rather than seeing where we were, and what we/she wanted, I just continued to give and give in the hopes that her desires would be my desires... I kept pushing with the hopes of her becoming the person that I wanted her to be, rather than letting her be who she was.

  It has been very challenging for me to return to this blog, to put my thoughts down in words. I try my best to keep my chin up, to move forward and onward, but the truth is I’m hurt. What’s challenging here is the fact that I invest so much of myself, and my thoughts, and feelings into each of these letters that I write that I haven’t had the energy to write. I’m diverting all of those processes to healing.

  A Letter a Day festers in the back of my mind, my opus left unfinished. I know I should be writing. I’m proud of myself when I do write. I just haven’t had the ability.

  What I need is a rekindling. A realignment of intention. A renewed spirit.

  I have no idea who I plan on going about reaching these goals, or how I plan on starting to write again, but I do know that I’m going to change the way this blog is run in order to make it easier for me, and for you, to get everything that we want from it.

  What’s important here? Letters every day? Or letters that mean something? I hope to think it’s the latter. That being said I plan to no longer write one weekends. I’m a tremendously busy person and writing 7 letters a week proved a nearly insurmountable task as far as my schedule was concerned. So from this point forward expect letters from Monday to Friday with a break during the weekends.

  Furthermore, I’ve decided to expand this project to include all of you. I hope to go into this more in a future post because if you’ve read all the way to this point I must commend you as I feel like I’m writing mostly for myself right now. Anyways, I hope to include all of you. We have a tremendous amount of readers, most of whom I assume are literate, passionate, and interesting folks.

  It is my plan and intention to allow each person who visits this site and wants to write a letter to someone on behalf of the A Letter a Day project do so. In my mind it goes a little something like this...  There will be a form where you can tell me who you are, who you want to write to, why, and then even send me the letter. I’l check it out, and if I like it, I’ll post it on the blog, and even mail it out for you with the whole shebang... crayons and all. My address will be the return address, but you’ll still get a copy of the reply, and I’ll keep the original for now, because my intention is to have some sort of art gallery at the completion of this project.

  Does this sound reasonable? I think it does. I hope it’s exciting as well. I feel like this project is bigger than me, and trying to keep it directly focused on me would be narcissistic.

  So that’s where we are, and where I am. I’m very sorry that I haven’t been able to keep up my end of the bargain. It is my full intention to, and this blog shall raise from the ashes like a beautiful phoenix, as we all breathe life into it once again.

  Love you all.

June 2^nd, 2011

22 Blake St. #1

Asheville, NC 28801

Dear Mr. O’Neal,

                I am writing to commend you on a tremendous career and wish you great success in your future endeavors. I must admit that I’m not the biggest sports fan, but I’m a big fan of yours. You’ve been ever present in the world of popular culture for nearly two decades now, and I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for all that you’ve done

                My name is Kipper Schauer, I’m currently 29 years old, but when I was a child in middle school your name was synonymous with power and success. I was in the 7^th grade when NBA Jam came out and your one name title commanded respect.  When your likeness wasn’t present in the home versions of the video game there were many whispers that your character was too good, and the game had to be balanced to make it more fair.

                Mentioning video games, how many people can say they have an actual fighting game named after them? Granted Shaq-fu was limited by the technology of the time, but that’s still a major accomplishment. Do you still have a copy or two laying around?

                Now that I think about it your career has been phenomenal. Starring roles in at least two films, coupled with three or four hip hop albums? Damn Shaq, you’ve been busy. Although the critics have never been the most friendly regarding your contributions you still pressed on and that’s admirable. I feel like it must have been the fun of taking part in those projects that fueled you and sustained your tenacity.

                I hope that your retirement from the NBA is pleasant, and gives you a chance to relax. You’ve been working harder than most men do for more years than most men can. You deserve a chance to take a break.

                So that’s my little letter to you. I’ve been doing this project where I try to write a letter each day to someone that has inspired me throughout my life. I’ve fallen a bit behind, but I’m hoping that this letter might just rekindle the spark and get the motor running again.

                Aside from writing these letters, I ask each of the people I send them to for a reply. You’re welcome to write something if you wish, but what I’m really after is a drawing. I even include a pack of crayons, a blank sheet of paper, and an envelope with a stamp on it with each letter I send out in order to make this process easier.

                Would you be so kind as to draw me a picture? What you draw is up to you, it can be anything you wish. I can offer you a couple of suggestions though. Like how about a picture of a giant ant using a magnifying glass to burn down a city, or perhaps you’d like to draw a picture of a polar bear on vacation in Jamaica? Please understand that these are merely suggestions as a way to encourage the creative process. I do enjoy truly original creations.

                I thank you for your time, and your valiant efforts in so many different fields Mr. O’Neal. It has been truly a pleasure to admire you for all these years.

I’ll always look up to you, and not just because you’re taller than me,

Kipper Schauer

  As you can see we have not only an amazing picture of a cat (titled Lazy Cat) Ms. Hall also included a very sweet post-it note adorned with a kitten and a fantastically inspirational message. I wonder if this means she’s been reading A Letter a Day?

  Okay, that rounds out the trio of replies I have received. I’m running late and will have to post news and letters tomorrow. I assure you, this project lives on, I’ve just needed time.

  The stories of my life from a young age are quite cute and sweet, and when I first saw them I giggled fairly extensively. The art he drew also followed the prompt of a bear playing tennis and then broke it down with a totally radical remix and brought in Tommy Wiseau’s abs.

  If you have no idea who Tommy Wiseau is, and you haven’t had the joy of seeing The Room I highly reccomend it. Your life is not complete until you have seen The Room.

  He also took the time to write me a very pleasant little note:

Dear Kipper,

Thanks for your note. Enclosed find some pix.

Since you publish these replies on the interwebs I will not effuse as much as I could.

I’ll just say: You write a hell of a letter. Also you would make any parent happy. Also that I’m proud to call you my son.

It’s been a great deal of fun getting to know you. The enclosed drawings should add some background for your fans, of which I am one.

Much love,

Kipper’s Dad

  Wow, what a piece of magic. Clint appears to be the first person to follow one of the prompts, providing us with this epic battle of an octopus wrestling a bear. I was also quite pleased to see that he used the entire space of the paper, each inch of the canvas has been colored at least a bit.

  Here’s the note he wrote on the back of the drawing:

Kipper,

As you can tell, I went with your first prompt. The oppurtunity to explore archetypes was too juicy to pass up. You’re at the top of my awesome list.

Beer soon!

Clint